Broken & Beautiful

January 25, 2009
A visit to the gulf shores to spend time with My Beloved turned out to be more than I expected. This weekend was intended to dive into His word and write a term paper for my class “The Life of Christ”.
Oh thank you My Beloved for your Holy word that speaks to my soul. Through this study of the crucifixion, I realize so boldly how You feel my heart beat through your experience of betrayal and rejection. I could go through life feeling so unworthy, so lonely but then I am snapped back to reality by My Precious Savior to know He chose me…He created me…He will never leave me…and He loves me unconditionally.
I am My Beloveds
And He is mine
7:30AM for all you morning people I spent this time alone with My Savior on the beach…walking, talking, and singing with Him.
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus. Majesty worship His Majesty. Jesus….Jesus…Jesus, there’s just something about His name, Master…Savior…JESUS.
As I walked the shore line and listened to the sound of the waves. The roar of the ocean was so peaceful. I was embraced by His presence. It was as if everything around me in my soul and head vanished. I was in a moment just me and My Beloved. Walking in the fresh cool breeze of the ocean that My Lord has created. With each foot print of mine trailed His invisible foot print spending time with me. To all who reads do you get it? I was not alone. Readers hold on, the best is yet to come. After speaking to the Lord and singing His praises he began to talk to me. I walked along picking up shells with color, wholeness, and shapes that I was attracted to. I passed a woman that had a bag of big perfect shells and asked her how long she had been out here. She stated around 7:00AM. I told her she had found some treasures. I carried on and tried to find the perfect shells. Just a few steps away I saw a Big shell and my instant thought was this woman had missed a beauty. Then as I got closer I noticed it was cracked with a good size hole. I started to walk away and the Lord spoke to my soul and I heard the words
Broken and Beautiful

At that moment I realized, that is what it’s about. What the world means to throw away and step over or even step on. Is God’s creation. I had been careful not to step on the perfect shells so that I would not crush them…as I continued my walk I was picking up the perfect broken shells and started to see the beautiful colors and shapes they had. I also realized that I could use my imagination to see what the shells could look like. I had a smile in my heart. I felt the Lord speak the words my child you are beautiful. And instantly I wanted to say no, I can’t see that. But, He did not let me rest there. The Lord rushed to my soul and said I created you, I chose you, and you are mine….that is when I felt Beautiful.

He has created you and me to be exactly who we are. Our beauty is represented inside and out. He has chosen me and you to spend eternity with Him. We are His forever.

You created my inmost being; you knit me together
in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am
fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13-14

Continuing my walk I had a few of the world’s perfect shells in my right pocket and an overflowing left pocket of broken shells. Both hands full of broken shells I passed a man,
He said to me looks like you have found treasures. Beaming I smiled and said I sure did.
For the first time I realize we're all broken in some way at some moment in life. In fact we don’t get to choose our brokenness. But we do get to choose the way we deal with it.
FOREVER HIS
My Beloved continue to speak to my heart,
reveal yourself to me in ways that I know
is only of you.

When I looked up the word broken in the Thesaurus I found
Shattered
Defeated
Cracked
Smashed
Damaged
Ruined
Destroyed
Without Hope
Defeated
Crushed
Can you identify with any of these? I can and if it were not for His Amazing Grace I could be stuck here.
…..The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
1Samuel 16:7

I would like to take a moment to thank my friend Amy from Atlanta who met me at the beach. This was a big step for me. Seems like in the past few months I have had many big steps or I could say first in my new roll as single person. I am learning life doesn’t always go the way we like it. However, in embracing the moments I am choosing not be ruled by my circumstance and the roller coaster of emotions.
Amy, you will never know just what it meant to me to have you there as emotional support. For those of you who don't know. Amy and I met while I was living in Waynesboro, VA and have never loss touch with each other. There is no doubt that the Lord crossed our paths and I am forever grateful.

Surviving Christmas & Surviving Life

Do you wish you could sleep through this Christmas?

Better yet do you have any idea how you are going to survive this life?

I find myself wondering through life without much ability to navigate at this moment. Actually I feel like I am hanging onto a life raft being tossed about. I feel the sea is raging all around me. Who would have thought I would be where I am today. Awaiting my final papers from the courts. Attempting to do the Christmas thing without a nervous breakdown. I choose to thank him in the midst of my trials and pain. I choose to call on the name of Jesus and be embraced by My Beloved. One thing for sure is My Lord knew what I would be going through today. And, better yet My Lord knows what tomorrow holds. I am alive and breathing. And, my faith is in Him. Lord speak to my heart and guide my every foot step on this journey.

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.Psalm 16:11

In the midst of our turmoil....

He Himself is our peace according to Ephesians 2:14

And the peace of God which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Is He your Peace on Earth?

Psalm 30

I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.
O Lord you brought me up from the grave, you spared me from going down into the pit.
Sing to the Lord, you saints of his; praise His Holy name.
For his anger last only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping many remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken."
O Lord when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm;
but when you hid your face I was dismayed.
To you, O Lord, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy;
What gain is there in my destruction, in my going down into the pit?
Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me; O Lord be my help."
You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth

and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.

All boy & cute as can be

Two years ago I was
blessed with a special
birthday present.
My precious
grandson Brodie.
Brodie is so cuddly and
adorable.
Every time I look
at his pictures
I wish I could squeeze him. I cherish every moment
we have together. I love you my sweet Brodie.

Can't you tell

that Brodie

is not only

holding them

but their

hearts

as well.

Resting in His Embrace

Have you ever thought life was overwhelming?

Have you ever had the thought...I can't take it any more?

Have you wished you could go to sleep and wake up and your nightmare would be over?

Well, the past two years have been just that for me. It wasn't until I realized I had no control of hanging on to a marriage of 28 years. I literally watched it slip through my fingers. And, on July 27th of this year I told my husband I was opening my hand and releasing him. Such pain and such peace to feel chains be broken that had kept both of us in bondage.

On October 11th I turned 48 years old. I spent the morning with my dear friend Vicki sitting on the beach. Overwhelmed while over looking the vast ocean and trying to truly grasp the presence of my Savior. To be honest I always thought I knew Him. But let me tell you I truly know Him and feel His presence more than ever. I not only know my Redeemer as my personal Savior...He is my Beloved...His is my warm embrace...He is my Jehovah Jireh...He is my Jehovah Rapha...He is my Truth and I am learning more about Him each step I take. I don't know what life holds for me but I do know I am in good hands. I can't imagine this journey without Him. I may no longer have a husband to call my own but I do have a Beloved who loves me more than anyone ever could. In fact He created me to be exactly who I am. I would not have chosen this path for myself but I am so thankful to know true peace through such pain. It is all about Amazing Grace. I have read some wonderful books in the past 11 months but I have to admit that God's word has began to speak to me like never before.

You turned my wailing into dancing;

you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.

Psalm 30:11,12

Family ...my blessings

Tommy not only handsome on the outside a son with a burning desire to preach the name of Jesus. What more could a mother ask for than for her son to know the Lord as His personal savior. His beautiful wife Krystal stands beside him and encourages him, she is a good mother to my grandson Brodie who is so adorable, cuddly and loveable which reminds me of my son. If only there were not so many miles between us.

Christi beautiful through and through a daughter also with a burning desire to share the name of Jesus. To watch her with such grace and love care for her family and others is a blessing. Her husband Clay is a good husband and a good father. My granddaughters Chastity and Cherish are precious, adorable and loveable. They keep me on my toes. I am surrounded by love.

I love each one of my children and their families and cherish every moment we have. I look forward to what the Lord has in store for you.
Resting in His embrace,

Denise

Isaiah 12:2, Acts 2:25-28, Psalm 42:8, Isaiah 43:1-3, Romans 6:13